The Loss of Margaret – A journey of grief and how it can be eased

My journey began a year ago when I was clearing out a selection of surplus items from my house to make a donation to the Hospice shop in Barrow. My curiosity took the better of me when I realised the Hub was separate to the shop. Popping into the hub and explaining to the receptionist my predicament regarding my wife, who had recently been diagnosed with an aggressive form of bladder cancer, sending both of us into turmoil. She referred me to Ange, who happened to be in the office. I didn’t know what to expect as I stood there, but I needn’t have worried. I was introduced to Ange who led me into a side room to understand what was happening in my life. After retelling the events of my bad news and with a coffee and plenty of tears Ange explained to me in a compassionate and professional way that I was suffering from emotional stress and would both Margaret and I like to be referred to a member of the family support team, who arranged to meet both of us in our home a couple of weeks later to guide us through this tragic process.

The support we both received during this time proved to be invaluable and as Margaret’s health deteriorated the support sessions became more important in preparing me for the inevitability of life without my beloved Margaret and to mentally and physically look after myself. Sadly, Margaret passed away, peacefully on Sunday 4th August 2024, after 49 years of marriage. 

I can only describe my grief at this time as being raw and very emotional. The support sessions continued with expert guidance from Linda, family support team. No subject was taboo and was discussed in an open, direct and friendly way. Always with a cup of coffee and to fondly reflect on the good times with Margaret and my family. Over the weeks of dialogue with Linda the sadness was replaced by a sense of gratitude on how lucky am I to have been loved by a special person for 49 years of my life and the times spent enjoying each other’s company. Without doubt, early intervention by the family support team eased my grief over the passing of Margaret. Although I will never get over the loss of such a special person. The family support I received exceeded my expectations with the personal touches which can only be achieved by the intimate knowledge by Linda, from  the family support team, of the person’s family. I now consider Linda as a true friend as she expertly guided me through this sad period of my life.

 A year on from walking into the hub and I’m in a very different place, thanks to the dedication of the family support team. The fog of despair has now started to lift. Of course, I’ll never get over the pain of losing my soul mate, but I can now tentatively move forward with Margaret walking with me and holding my hand, guiding me through the difficult days I still have. I hope my story helps someone who is going through a similar situation and gives them hope that there are experienced and dedicated people from the family support team who are experts and will listen and help you along the way through the grieving process. I’m so glad I was offered such a valuable service.

Ian Platt